I remember being at school and really hating Mondays. It seemed to me that it always signalled the start of some type of impending doom; so to get you off to the best possible start today, I’ve put together a list of the five best, worst Psychic jokes. Let’s kill those Monday morning blues before they start and begin this week with a smile
“I almost had a Psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” Steven Wright.
Debbie visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the tarot cards laid out before her, the tarot reader delivered the bad news:
“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt – prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.
She simply had to know. She met the tarot reader’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:
“Will I get away with it?”
Q: What’s the difference between a pizza and a tarot reader?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
“I can see into your future and I see you being ignored by at least 10 people in the near future!” — Actual quote from a chatroom.
When two psychics met, one said to the other, “You are fine. How am I?”
I hope this raised a smile. Let me know what your favorite Tarot or Psychic Jokes are? I’ll see you in the comments!
Image and Jokes from Serena Powers